“The books that the world calls immoral are books that show the world its own shame.”
So I fell on the job a bit, and haven't done a Reign review in a couple of weeks. I watched both episodes over the weekend, but I've been fighting a massive migraine since then (migraine 1, Liza 0 so far) so I hate to say that I've forgotten most of what's happened, and both episodes are kind of blurring together for me. So let me see how well this goes.
OK, so we left off that soon-to-be-legitimized Tomas of Portugal was wooing Mary away from her alliance with France, all for some ships to protect Scotland against an English invasion. And like most men (sorry guys!) he was on his best behavior at first, but then his true colors started showing. Enter the whipping boy, which I never knew actually existed. Not that I should take the CW's word for it, but interesting nonetheless. Whipping boy is basically there just to let Tomas beat the poops out of him whenever he feels a little slap happy. And apparently Tomas likes to do this to the ladies too. So Prince Francis to the rescue, and a little fight ensues.
Francis wins, and all is well with Mary again.
Side story, one of the ladies in waiting is getting boned by the kitchen lad, and another is getting boned by the king.
Side story 2, there are pagans or something in the woods. Very White Walker, if you ask me.
Side story 3, small assassination attempt on Mary, the Queen is behind it all, the ghost with the bag on her head is helping Mary out, blah blah blah.
OK, so that was pretty much episode 4 I think. On to episode 5.
So they're really trying to get you to root for Mary and Francis. And finally things are looking up for them. When suddenly one of Francis's old flings almost gets attacked by White Walkers in the woods, comes back to court, and into his arms. Mary finds solace in Francis's brother, because that's always a good idea.
Turns out, the girl (with a terrible accent, BTW) and the Queen are conspiring to get Mary pushed out.
Side story, the Queen finds one of Mary's lady's borrowing/stealing a ring, and blackmails her to intercept Mary's letters to her mom, but Mary knows about all of this, so apparently the joke is on the Queen.
Francis admits to boning the new girl in the past, and basically that he wants to bone her more. New girl sets up camp in the castle, and it seems like Mary and Francis are kind of breaking up.
Terrible costumes continue.
Side story, the lady in waiting who is boning the King gets all sassy with Mary, saying she no longer takes orders from her, but as the king's head mistress, she takes orders from him now. What I'd really like to see is Mary lay the smack down on these girls and teach them to have a little R-E-S-P-E-C-T.
Mary has glimpses of greatness, but mostly she pouts over Francis. Oh, that reminds me, last episode, when Mary thought she was going to Portugal to marry Tomas, she was oh so sad that she would have to leave behind her ladies, because they only agreed to come with her to France. Wait, what? Those hens are in your service lady. They go where you tell them, and they're not on some joy ride.
Well, maybe now they are.
Until next episode!