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Oooof, where to even begin? 

I think my expectations have been sufficiently lowered to where I'm not completely raging at the TV for all of the silliness.  But, there is still some crazy shiz going on.  No appearances from the ghost with a bag on her head in this episode, which is too bad.  She has some of the best costumes of the bunch.

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Still going to scratch my head at the costume choices here.  See below, in which Mary wears a crocheted shrug.

I wish I could find a picture of the tulle monstrosity she wore earlier in the episode.  But, check out this video clip of Mary and Francis, she in a peasant dress, and he in a turtleneck knit sweater.  I really can't make this stuff up.

This episode revolved again around the will-he-or-won't-he angst that Mary has about Francis finally tying the knot.  Francis apparently wants to marry her (sort of) but the evil king wants to toy with this alliance instead of seal the deal.  Francis decides the best way to manipulate his father is by blackmailing him, and telling his wife and mistress that he's looking for mistress #2.  This seems to make the king buckle to Francis's wishes.

Like the king could give a tinier shit about how many of his women know about each other. 

Similar sentiment goes for Mary.  We are introduced to Tomas, the pseudo-prince of Portugal (soon to be legitimized bastard of the king), who at first takes a liking to one of the ladies in waiting, but decides to set his sights on Mary herself after he finds her climbing a tree.  A tree.  He proposes marriage and a strategic alliance, and she refuses because the lady liked him first.

Because this is fifth grade and I saw him first, not a political alliance between countries.  Ooooookay.

But apparently now England is picking a fight with France too, so we'll see where this takes us.  Until next week!